The best relatives are those who love, sympathize, and cooperate with one another for achieving their goals and interests. For its elevated social rank and great influence on reforming the Islamic society, the Islamic Sharia has paid the greatest attention to the family affairs.
Relatives are the family to whom one belongs. Man’s relatives are the most similar, affectionate, and helpful. Describing the relatives, Amir ul-Mu'minin (a) said:
“Man, though wealthy, cannot dispense with his clan. He is in need for their defending him with hands and tongues. They are one’s greatest backers, best reuniters, and most affectionate when a misfortune befalls.”
Besides parents' rights, a great emphasis is also laid on the rights of other relatives. In Islamic terms, Silah-Rahimi is used to denote 'good treatment towards the relatives'.
In the Qur'an, where the Muslims are enjoined to show kindness to parents, they are also required to treat the other relatives with love and sympathy and to pay due regard to their rights as well.
Among all religions, Islam gives great importance to the bonds of kinship and rights of relatives.
Aayah 90 of Surah Nahl says: “Allah enjoins justice, generosity and kind treatment with relatives…”
The third thing which has been enjoined is good treatment with one’s relatives. It means that one should not only treat relatives well, share their sorrows and pleasure and help them within lawful limits but should also share one’s wealth with them along with the rights of parents and immediate family. Prophet (SAW) has emphasized this fact in many Traditions. In the light of such Traditions a person owes rights to his parents, his wife, husband, children, brothers, sisters and other relatives in accordance with the nearness of their relationships. On the basis of this fundamental principle, Caliph Umar Farooque (RA) made it obligatory on the first cousins of an orphan to support him. In the case of another orphan, a distant cousin was made responsible to support.
Look what Prophet (SAW) demands in exchange for the hardships he experienced in conveying Allah (SWT)’s message to us as mentioned in Aayah 23 of Surah Shu’ra:
“Ya Rasul Allah, say to them: “I do not ask of you any reward for this work; however, I do seek the love of the kindred/relatives.””
Holy Qur’an in Aayah 27 of Surah Baqarah says:
“But it is only the rebels He (Allah) makes go astray: who break their covenant with Allah after it has been confirmed, who severs/breaks the bonds [of relationship] that Allah has commanded to be joined, who spread corruption on earth – these are the losers.”
In the Qur'an Allah tells us: "Give your relatives their due…" (17:26)
"Allah commands justice, kindness and giving to near relatives…." (16:90)
"…And show kindness to your parents and to near relatives…" (4:36)
"And give to the relative his right." [Soorah al-Israa' 17:26]
Allaah - the most high - also said:
"And worship Allaah alone, and do not set-up any partner to Him in worship,
and be kind and good to the parents, and to the relatives." [Soorah an-Nisaa 4:36]
Breaking up relations:
The Quran has decreed Hell-fire and the curse of Allah upon those who cut off ties with their relatives.
Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"Beware of those who cut off relations because I have found them cursed thrice in the Quran."
1) Surah Baqarah, Ayat No.27
"Whoever break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder what Allah has ordered to be joined, and make mischief in the land, these it is that are the losers."
In the Quranic terminology when the word Khaasir (loser) is used it denotes the one who is to be in loss, or rather the one who is cursed.
2) Surah Raad, Ayat No.25
"And those who break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder which Allah has ordered to be joined and make mischief in the land; (as for) those, upon them shall be curse and they shall have the evil (issue) of the abode."
3) Surah Muhammad, Ayat No.22-23
"But if you held command, you were sure to make mischief in the land and cut off the ties of kinship. Those it is whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes."
The Denouncement of "Cutting Off Kinship Ties" in the Traditions
Numerous traditions have reached us in this regard. A few of these reports are quoted here:
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) states:
There is destruction in enmity, especially with the relatives. I do not mean the destruction of the law but rather the destruction of the religion. (Enmity among people not only harms the hair and the body, but it also destroys one's religion.
(Al Kafi, Chapter of Qate-Rahem)
Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says:
"Protect yourself from 'Haliqa' for it destroys the people." The narrator asked "What is 'Haliqa'", Imam replied, "To sever relations."
The Worst Deed in the Eyes of Allah
A man approached the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and enquired, "What is the worst deed in the eyes of Allah?"
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied,
"To attribute partners to Allah."
The man then asked, "After this which is the worst sin?"
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
"To sever relations".
After this the same person asked, "After this which is the worst sin?"
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied:
"To enjoin the evil and to forbid the good (deeds)."
Some practical Tips to Promote Family Relations:
Visit them often - do not wait for “occasions” e.g. deaths, marriages etc.
Invite them home.
Always show love even if your relatives do not do the same.
Always make Dua [pray] for them.
Give them gifts - Spend on them according to your means.
Help them in need and sympathise with them on sad occasions.
Share happy moments and occasions with them.
Avoid backbiting - It is the main cause of friction.
Always talk positively about them and do not look down upon them.
Occasionally give them a call to enquire about their welfare.
Do not compete with them in material pursuits.
Always be a well-wisher of your Relatives.
Plan ways to improve and strengthen relations.
It is related by Anas (RA) that the Allah’s Messenger Muhammad [Peace be upon him] said "Whoever wants an increase in his sustenance and that the marks of his feet remain for a long time in the world (i.e. to live long) - he should be kind and helpful to his relatives."
Family quarrels, which generally arise from the disregard of the relatives' rights, affect a persons health and causes friction in homes and in the community at large. Those who treat their relatives well and are helpful to them, are free from tensions and they are happier and more peaceful.
The Almighty Allah says in the Quran:
"...and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship;"
(Surah Nisa 4:1)
According to Imam al-Baqir (a.s.), the notable point in this verse is that the fear of Allah is mentioned alongwith the fear one should have about breaking relations with kith and kin.
In the book Al Kafi there is a tradition from Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.). He says:
"The relatives in this Ayat, include all, and not only the nearest ones. Certainly Allah has ordered kindness towards all the relatives. Allah has given so much importance to this deed that he mentions it with his exalted name."
Kindness to Relatives is Commanded in the Same Way as Namaz and Zakat
It is related from Imam Ali-ar-Reza (a.s.):
"Allah has ordered three things along with three others, in the glorious Quran:
1) Namaz is ordered along with Zakat. If one offers Namaz but does not pay Zakat (when it is due upon him) then his Namaz will not be accepted.
2) Allah has ordered thankfulness to Himself along with the thankfulness to one's parents. If one is not grateful to one's parents it is as if he has not been grateful to Allah.
3) Allah has ordered piety along with kindness to ones kith and kin. Then one who is not kind towards the relatives is not pious."
The Benefits of Sileh Rahmi (Good relationship) in the Hereafter
The practice of Sileh Rahmi (kindness to kith and kin) accrues worldly advantages, spiritual benefits and bounties of the Hereafter.
Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq says:
"Sileh Rahmi perfects the morals and encourages charity. When one performs Sileh Rahmi he has to be benevolent towards his relatives. The continuous practice of Sileh Rahmi brings refinement in his morals. In the same way repeated acts of kindness inculcate a benign and compassionate feeling in the person, and the soul is purified (from the sin of jealousy and enmity).
(Safinatun Behaar)
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) states:
Sileh Rahmi (kindness to relatives) purifies deeds. Purification of deeds means, that the shortcomings in all the good deeds of a person practicing Sileh Rahmi are naturally compensated and all his good deeds are accepted by Allah.
It increases wealth, wards off difficulties and calamities. The accounting of your actions on the day of Qiyamat is made easy. Even the ordained time of death is postponed.
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