Marriage in Islam

Marriage in Islam



Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind. There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says:
"Three qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones, loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr (disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire."
That means love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief.

There is no dating or living in de facto relationship or trying each other out before committing to each other. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever before marriage.

In our part of the world mostly arranged marriages are done while in western culture Love marriages are more common where divorces are also very common.  What about talking point of view of Islam regarding arrange and Love marriage?

Islam gives great importance to marriage and according to a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad SAW a person who is capable of doing marriage must do it.  Marriage has many benefits. it saves us from going to wrong path and also brings peace in our life.

 Rasool Allah SAW said that a person should chose a life partner who has virtue. Wealth, Beauty and Status are less important than Virtue in eye of Islam.

In most cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves with the real world. The unrealistic expectation that young people have is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship.

The West makes fun of the Islamic way of marriage, in particular arranged marriage. Yet, the irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship. This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner. Love blinds people to the extent of overlooking potential problems in the relationship.

There is an Arabic proverb that says: "Love is blind, it makes zucchini turn into okra". Arranged marriages, on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions, but rather on critical evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why such marriage often proves successful.

From an Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah). The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other before going through with marriage procedures. That is very important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection, when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other.

Qur'anic verse that says, “…believing men and women should lower their gaze” (An-Nur: 30).
 The couple, however, are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone.

As the Hadith says: "When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan (Satan) makes their third."

Jaber related that the Prophet (saws) said: ‘When one of you seeks a woman in marriage let him look at whom he wishes to marry.’

Related by Abu Dawood


Mughirah ibn Shu'bah narrated: ‘I sought a woman in marriage. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) asked me :’Have you seen her?’  I said : ‘No.’  He (saws) then said: Then look at her, because it is more proper that love should be cemented between you.’
Related by Ahmed, Ibn Majah, Nasai, and Trimidhi.



The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith  7.27         Narrated by Abu Huraira

HAdiat about Marrage
 It has been narrated by Muaaz Ibn Jabal. He relates that the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam had instructed, "When a woman causes her husband suffering his wife, amongst his celestial brides (Hooray-Ayn), curses, ‘May Allah also inflict pain on you. Don’t cause your husband suffering.’ And Oh my beloved Fatimah, reproach awaits the woman who disobeys her husband."(Ibn Maajah and Tirmidhi)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us in many hadith about the various characteristics which one looks for in a spouse and their relative importance and which ones determine success insha'Allah and Allah's blessing on a marriage. Among those hadith:

"A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)" [Muslim]


   1) We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Volume 7, Book 62, :Narrated 'Abdullah:


    2)We presented ourselves along with Ibn 'Abbas at the funeral procession of Maimuna at a place called Sarif. Ibn 'Abbas said, "This is the wife of the Prophet so when you lift her bier, do not Jerk it or shake it much, but walk smoothly because the Prophet had nine wives and he used to observe the night turns with eight of them, and for one of them there was no night turn." Volume 7, Book 62, Narrated 'Ata:



    3)The Prophet said, "The rewards (of deeds) are according to the intention, and everybody will get the reward for what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah's and His Apostle's sake, his emigration was for Allah and His Apostle; and whoever emigrated for worldly benefits, or to marry a woman, then his emigration was for the thing for what he emigrated for." (1)

Volume 7, Book 62, :Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khatta




    4)A woman came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have come to give you myself in marriage (without Mahr)." Allah's Apostle looked at her. He looked at her carefully and fixed his glance on her and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that he did not say anything, she sat down. A man from his companions got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle! If you are not in need of her, then marry her to me." The Prophet said, "Have you got anything to offer?" The man said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet said (to him), "Go to your family and see if you have something." The man went and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, I have not found anything." Allah's Apostle said, "(Go again) and look for something, even if it is an iron ring." He went again and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle! I could not find even an iron ring, but this is my Izar (waist sheet)." He had no rida. He added, "I give half of it to her." Allah's Apostle said, "What will she do with your Izar? If you wear it, she will be naked, and if she wears it, you will be naked." So that man sat down for a long while and then got up (to depart). When Allah's Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the Prophet said, "How much of the Quran do you know?" He said, "I know such Sura and such Sura," counting them. The Prophet said, "Do you know them by heart?" He replied, "Yes." The Prophet said, "Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Quran which you have." Volume 7, Book 62,
    Narrated Sahl bin Sad As-Sa'idi